Body shaming

 Body Shaming

Body shaming, defined as an inappropriate negative statement and attitudes towards another person weight or size. It can also reach into discrimination against individuals who may be overweight. There are negative attitudes and stereotypes in the media and elsewhere towards plus size people. A backlash against body shaming has resulted in the coming of the term itself in attempts to bring a more positive attitude toward diverse body size and styles . There are many people out there working towards putting an end to body shaming as well as the stereotype that goes along with being plus size. Body shaming is wrong and needs to stop.

Have you ever heard, or said to yourself, I’m too fat I’m chunky I’m obese I wish I was thinner if only I were smaller, then you have practiced what is known as body shaming, and you’re not alone. Many things influence this negative image that some have of their body. Body image and self-esteem go hand in hand. Body image includes how we perceive our bodies visually how we feel about our physical appearance how we think and talk to ourselves about our bodies our sense of how other people view our bodies our sense of our bodies in physical space and our level of connectedness to our bodies. Feeling ashamed about your body is what many people seen as overweight struggle with. Poor body image increases the risks for extreme weight control behaviors such as extreme dieting exercise compulsion laxative abuse vomiting smoking and the use of non-FDA approved dieting pills. Many people are embracing their body no matter what the scale says. They are going to extremes to show the positive side of being plus size. Many of these people are showing that self. We live in a world of great diversity where people come in all different shapes, sizes, and colors. Learning to accept others for who they are and not how they look can only be beneficial in the end.

Body-shaming manifests in many ways:
1) Criticizing your own appearance, through a judgment or comparison to another person. (i.e.: “I’m so ugly compared to her.” “Look at how broad my shoulders are.”)
2) Criticizing another’s appearance in front of them, (i.e.: “With those thighs, you’re never going to find a date.”)
3) Criticizing another’s appearance without their knowledge. (i.e.: “Did you see what she’s wearing today? Not flattering.” “At least you don’t look like her!”).
No matter how this manifests, it often leads to comparison and shame, and perpetuates the idea that people should be judged mainly for their physical features.
This leads to the question: if it has such harsh consequences, why is body-shaming so common?  An example we often discuss at the Braintree Adolescent Intensive Outpatient Program (IOP) is dealing with conflicts with peers.   Why, when we are upset, annoyed, or intimidated by someone, do we default to criticizing their appearance?  “Whatever, she’s ugly,” can be a go-to defense in these situations, particularly during adolescence and the young-adult years.  In some ways, it feels easier to shoot for something that will hurt, like targeting physical appearance, rather than expressing what is really going on emotionally.  Saying, “I’m really hurt by how my friend treated me,” or “I’m terrified of losing this friendship” opens us up and makes us more vulnerable, and therefore feels easier to bury underneath the body-shaming comments that rush to mind.
How do we challenge this?  In situations like those listed above, expressing true feelings rather than physical criticisms can be a great first step.  While recently discussing this with the Adolescent IOP, several patients admitted that it is hard to identify ways of expressing frustration without using body-shaming, as this has become an almost automatic response.

Practice identifying why you are upset about a situation.  For example, it’s unlikely that you’re mad at a friend because she’s breaking out, and more likely that you’re upset about a miscommunication or feeling of rejection.  Practice thinking it, and eventually, verbalizing it.

Identify who in your life is body-positive – or even body-neutral.  Think of people who celebrate their body for what it can do, and people who refuse to comment on others’ physical appearances.  Spending time with these people can be especially helpful while you are struggling with your own internalized body-shaming, and help you view yourself – and others – more positively.

Confront those who perpetuate body-shaming.  Once you’ve become more aware of your own body-shaming behaviors, you may notice how often your friends, family or co-workers do it.  Talk to them.  Discuss why it bothers you and help them see how it may also be hurtful to them.

Find something (or things!) you LIKE about your body.  We spend so much time witnessing advertisements about how to make our eyelashes millimeters longer and how to get whiter teeth that it’d be nice to counter some of that by celebrating what we do have.  Maybe, despite your body image struggles, you love a new hairstyle you discovered.  Maybe you’ve noticed how much stronger you feel with balanced eating.  Find something physical or nonphysical that makes you YOU and celebrate it every day.